I wasn't expecting anymore good times...

Good morning friends!

I am somewhat eager to report a weekend with no drama, no fighting, no resistance between my husband and I. Kinda shines a light on what can happen between 2 people who have shared a deep love at one time.

I took my gloves off and i took my defensive shield down. I don't think I had any expectations out of the ordinary, just to make it thru the weekend without total disruption.

It could have been the full moon or we may have both be able to align and flow with one another with no judgment or resistance. SO why has my marriage been falling apart for the last 3 years???

There isn't one single things that has broken us down. Mental illness, medical illness, long term drug addiction, and i can no longer point that big pointy finger at my husband. Only because we are both human spirits, we have both done the best we could with everything we know to be true. 8 1/2 years is such a long time for two people to stand together every day and never go thru changes.

Maybe change seems like the enemy to my husband and it does not to me any longer. At our highest point in life, with our marriage, our lobs, and within ourselves i fell sick out of the blue. I believe it was 2015 or 2016 when it started. Up until this point we had build the perfect life. We had a 2 bedroom home we rented right down the street from my factory job, and my daughter's jr. high. My husband was a successful cdl truck driver who loved his job and was on the road a lot. I worked a lot at a glass factory and i tended to the house, kids, the yard, and everything else in between while my husband was gone. I'd stay up half the night on the phone with him on his way home, we would both be so excited to see each other after being apart for weeks at a time. Then we would spend the rest of the night making crazy love with no resistance. Until the sickness wasn't going away. Weeks went by, then month, test after test, nothing was changing.

We had unknowingly moved into a home that was so poisoned by mold in the basement. That first year i lost my gallbladder and we were starting to lose our connection. My illness and trying to work 10 hour days as well as 2 daughters i was loosing myself. I stopped treating my husband like my boyfriend. I have always been great full for my husband, but he has never stopped talking to other woman. I can't tell you whether he ever really had an affair or if it was all emotional.

Without getting too far into my illness, I hope that sheds some light on what caused me to start seeing who i really married.

Today my health is a lot better, and I now know I have a lot more control over the health of my body, and my mind. It was a great weekend and i am great full for it.

Thank you, J. Miller